Sunday, 29 April 2012

Q - Quiz shows

We would watch quiz shows pre- children. You know if we were not out in pubs or restaurants or on holiday. But if on the off-chance, we were in on a Saturday night we would watch them. We'd watch with that arrogant superiority; that kind of "we're so fucking clever. We could piss this, but we'd never go on a quiz show" kind of thing.

He'd answer all the history and geography and l'd take care of literature and celebrity, because I'm diverse like that. Anyway we pretty much nailed them.

Now we watch quiz shows because we have no choice. We are at the merciless hands of bad weekend TV and we submit to it willingly because will long for mind-numbing escapism.

Most of the time we watch like zombies, answering in monotone synchronisation. But sometimes we get a little excited. Almost raucous. Because occasionally there's a question on kids TV or Disney or nursery rhymes and we sit up in our seats because we know we've got it in the bag.

You should have seen me when the list Thomas the tank characters came up on "He Who Dares". I was giddy. I turned to the other half "40. Easy." At which point he challenged me to 50. There was only one thing to do. We had to get a pen and paper out and write them all down. What can I say? It was one of those rock and roll moments.

Then, there was yesterday when I caught Pointless Celebrities (I know the name is pure genius) for the first time. They were asking Esther Rantzen to come up with the most obscure Mr Men character. Do you know what she gave them? Mr Happy. Mr. Sodding Happy. He must be the third most popular one. After Bump and Tickle of course!

Then just to get the adrenaline pumping later I watched In It To Win It where the asked a dad-to-be "Who in Sing a song of sixpence got their nose pecked off?" And the young whipper snapper didn't have a clue, and the worse bit was when he joked "I bet this time next year I'll be kicking myself"

Pal, this time next year that nursery rhyme will be the reason they section you. You'll be rocking to it in your padded cell as they play you re-runs of Wheel of Fortune to keep you ticking over!

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