"Why does nobody tell you about internal inspections?" My sister demanded when she came out of hospital, her 2 day old baby in her arms. "I was prepared for pooing the bed, being ripped in two, pain never felt before etc etc. But internals? Nobody told me about them."
Maybe it's because her internal led to a spotting a breach baby and she only had one contraction before she was whisked off for a c-section. Maybe the internal is the last thing remembers, where the pain and discomfort for Mums having gone through labour is replaced by memories more harrowing.
Or maybe, like hemorrhoids. It's something people don't like to talk about.
"Just like a smear" the Midwife will say, lulling you into a false sense of security before a contraption, hand and forearm disappear into the unknown. The future dad stands open mouthed, aghast - porn films have never been this graphic.
By the way... It is nothing like a smear.