Saturday, 26 November 2011

I - Internals

"Why does nobody tell you about internal inspections?" My sister demanded when she came out of hospital, her 2 day old baby in her arms. "I was prepared for pooing the bed, being ripped in two, pain never felt before etc etc. But internals? Nobody told me about them."

Maybe it's because her internal led to a spotting a breach baby and she only had one contraction before she was whisked off for a c-section. Maybe the internal is the last thing remembers, where the pain and discomfort for Mums having gone through labour is replaced by memories more harrowing.


Or maybe, like hemorrhoids. It's something people don't like to talk about.

"Just like a smear" the Midwife will say, lulling you into a false sense of security before a contraption, hand and forearm disappear into the unknown. The future dad stands open mouthed, aghast - porn films have never been this graphic.

By the way... It is nothing like a smear.


  1. Nothing prepared me for the membrane sweep - didn't hurt for long but boy did it hurt and I swore very loudly at my OB GYN. Loudly enough for the people in the waiting room to look worried when I came out :)

    I hadn't been made aware of internals either until labour. I was under epidural so didn't feel them but was very aware of someone rummaging around down there. My husband was, as you say, open-mouthed.

    They did however realise after about 16 hours of poking their arm up there that baby was too big to come out, so got sent off for C Section. And now will never have to deal with internals again.

  2. Scary stuff aren't they? Big babies and c-sections win again!